Misunderstandings in relationships.


Misunderstandings in relationships happen all the time. They show up when you least expect them . Often when things are going really well, or so you think. I think that the misunderstandings happen most often when you are in a relationships that is important to you. The more important the relationship the harder it is to sort out  the conflicts that are the root of the  misunderstanding. That’s not to say that casual relationships or friendships cannot have misunderstandings that can get heated. They definitely can. What is the root of these misunderstandings? Why do they come up. Why do they sometimes seem to grow bigger and bigger until they have a life of their own? I think it is because we are not listening carefully and other person does not hear what we are trying to tell them either. We think that when we talk, others are automatically listening. I mean, why not, everything we say is so interesting the whole world should listen, right? Wel,l even if they are listening, they may not hear what you think you said. That’s right, sometimes when we think we are being  clear we are not. The person listening to us hears what we are saying  through a filter. Their filter, not yours, so they wont necessarily hear what you said and form the exact opinion that you were hoping for. The closer the relationship the deeper the feelings of everyone involved. Feelings come from our thoughts so when we are confused, feel misunderstood or unheard our  feelings will be negative.  The more negative feelings we have, the less  likely we are to listen to what the other person is saying….Get my point?

So what can we do? Keep it cool, slow down, don’t let your feelings get in the way. But better yet just listen to others when they are talking to you. Repeat what they have said to you to make sure you have heard them correctly. When you are talking don’t assume people hears what you said. Remember, there is no universal truth, only your personal truth. Everyone has their own perception. So next time you have a misunderstanding in a relationship, instead of blaming, being angry or irritated step back and listen.

Drifa Ulfarsdottir The Dating Coach

www.adateforsuccess.com

www.twitter.com/drifau

http://profile.to/drifaulfarsdottircpc/

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2 Responses

  1. If only it were so easy to keep everything under the boiling pot in the heat of the moment……….

  2. Sometimes we all fall blame ot pointing the finger in a relationship. Definitely, the closer you are to your acquaintenance, the deeper the feelings are. One must rememebr that sometimes it is best to simply walk away or bite the tongue instead of making false remarks. This is the exact reason why some people say whatever to serious relationships and get online with various dating sites, mostly casual. One such site is http://firstimpressionz.net , which is geare towards casual dating.

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