Am I a workaholic?

Am I a workaholic?

You know I ask myself that all the time. I tend to get immensely excited about projects that I am working on, especially if they involve learning something new, forging new trails or being a virtual explorer. I will continually think about the project almost unable to focus on anything else even thinking about it in the evenings when I am having family time with my children. As Life and Success Coach I recognise the signs of being a  workaholic but I thought I would jot down a few signs just in case you were wondering what they were. The signs are pretty unmistakable if you know what you are looking for. When you are working from dusk til dawn and think about work all the time, you just might be a workaholic. Workaholics only feel that they are accomplishing something when they are at work. They think that they have to work long hours immense effort and sacrifice in order to get ahead. They crave success and will do anything to get it even if that means forgoing their personal lives. Some are great achievers at work but just can´t seem to get it right in their personal lives. Some workaholics have an easier time connecting to the people at work than their own family. Workaholics feel they are irreplaceable at work and that everything will literally fall apart if they are not there to take care of all the little details personally. Look at the life of a workaholic outside of work. How satisfying is it? How much balance is their really in their lives? If you don’t have a balance between work, family life and personal time then you just may be a workaholic. If you get more satisfaction, feel more important and more at home at work then guess what, you may be a workaholic.  If you are reading this and thinking yeah that’s me but I am not a workaholic then good luck to you. If you are still unsure then you can either continue reading or take a test and find out.Work life balance is essential to happiness. Everyone will stop working one day and when they do they need to have built up a life and identity to fill the work void. We only have one life so it is essential to fill it with things that make you happy, are aligned with your values and mean something in the long run. Sometimes that means working less, being more productive in the time you have and making family and personal time a priority.

Drifa Ulfarsdottir

Success Coach


Don´t you hate it when people are ungrateful, well get over it!!

Giving and not recieving

Giving can make you feel wonderful, especially when the person you are giving to appreciates what you have done for them and says thank you. Even if they don´t say the words a small acknowledgement of the act of giving makes the giver feel great. It encourages more giving and generosity of the heart. Sometimes however we give because we want to and do not expect or need any words of appreciation back. If you sponsor a child for instance, you know in your heart that that child will be taken care of and you feel good about that. When you bring old clothes to the Red Cross you know that someone will be able to use them. I like to think that when we forget something at the grocery store that it is because the person behind us does not have allot of money and is meant to accidently put the item in their bag and will get a pleasant surprise when they get home. It makes me feel good, and since I took up this line of thinking it has taken all the frustration of not finding the item in my bags when I get home from the store. I recently did something nice for someone. I did it without any hidden agenda, just because I wanted to. This friend of mine was very sick and home alone. I know that if I were home alone, sick and vulnerable I would be feeling pretty bad. It is always nice to have someone to take care of you. I decided to pick up some coke, easy to make food and snacks and bring them to this friend’s house. I did this because I would want someone to do it for me if I were sick. I knew full well that this friend of mine would never do anything like this for me if I were sick but I believe you should not treat people the way they treat you rather the way you want to be treated. I sent the food over and felt pretty good about it, but after a few days I had not even heard a word from this person. I spoke to my friend on the phone a few days later and there was not a mention of the care package at all. At first I thought my friend was extremely ungrateful and rude.

Then I thought to myself, why did I give this care package in the first place? Was it to get thanks, recognition or praise or was it to show compassion, kindness and love. Well I would like to think it was the latter. I will continue giving and helping my friends any time I can however I think I will be a little more choosey next time. Why? Because this person may  need my hel pand I may have   needed to help him but in the future my help would be better spent in another way.

Sometimes showing caring concern and love means looking the other way. I think I will be nicer to this friend from now on by giving the right type of support.

So now you have it! GIVE GIVE GIVE but do it for the right reason and give the right gift.

Drifa Ulfarsdottir CPCP

Life Coach

Facing our fears can be a great way to achieve success. « A Date for Success Blog

Facing our fears can be a great way to achieve success.

Facing our fears can be a great way to achieve success, increase our productivity and create more peace and joy in our lives. When you are feeling overworked and stretched thin, ask yourself what is going on. I did this exact thing the other day. I often create more projects for myself when I feel especially stressed or busy. This seems to be a pattern of mine, anyhow I was doing this again the other day. I had scheduled myself into a corner. When I explored what it felt like I discovered that I felt like life was getting in my way. Life was interfering in all of my plans and my life was evolving despite my best efforts. I wouldn’t have noticed this feeling and these thoughts had I not faced my fear of under achievement, which by the way is very closely tied to over achievement. When you live your life based on fear, especially when you hide behind your fears then you can´t really grow.  So, that said, here is the solution. Figure out what you are afraid of, be honest and explore the truth in that fear. Most of our fears are actually just opinions created out of perception and when we are honest with ourselves they seem to dissipate. Take your fear and turn it around.  What this would look like is something like this;

(fear of success) If I succeed then I will be to busy, I can barely handle everything I need to do as it is.

(explore) Is that true? Do I know that for sure? What am I basing that on?

(turn it around) I will be able to handle it because I will delegate the things I do not need to do myself. I will have more                                          time, I can do it all!

Feel better? Me to.

Coach Drifa