Creating Successful Relationships part 2


When creating successful relationships it is important to explore your role in the relationship. You need to to consider what your personal boundaries are and where you draw the line. Are you allowing the other person to go into your personal space or cross to your boundaries and then get angry at them for doing it?  If that is the case you should ask yourself who is responsible for enforcing your boundaries? Do you always respect the personal space of others and when you do not how do they react? Another important question to ask yourself is where are you coming from emotionally when you relate to the relationship you are  in? Are you coming from a place of insecurity or from a place of love? When you relate to other people are you often on the defensive? Do you feel safe in the relationship, can you trust the other person, and do you feel respected and loved? If you do not feel that you are in a relationship that has mutual respect, kindness and love you may feel insecure or disappointed or maybe even hurt. Self doubt may come into play at this point and begin to manifest itself in all kinds of behaviours. You may feel that the safety net that used to exist not longer holds you. You have to go elsewhere to feel safe, respected and loved. Anger is a frequent visitor and seems to be like a snake that strikes without any warning, unpredictable and deadly. You can see clearly the faults of the other individual, the obnoxious teen, the controlling parent or the spouse that is trying to drive you insane. You are as sure of this as you are that the sun will rise in the morning. The only thing missing is your part. The only thing missing is the part where you take responsibility for your feelings, actions and thoughts. Your feelings are powerful; they can control your actions, manipulate your mind and take over your life. They can even ruin a perfectly good relationship. I wrote an article about how ‘’You can fall in love with a serial killer but that doesn’t mean you should be with him’’ in that article you can see that feelings should not trump our intuition, our common sense or our rational mind. We can all find our way back from emotional confusion, anger and pain but it takes work. Don´t forget that every feeling you have had a thought attached to it. Think about where the anger and judgements that you have came from.

Drifa Ulfarsdottir CPC

Relationship Coach

www.adateforsuccess.com

This article is part of an 11 part series. To read the rest of the series or to receive the FREE 20 page Life Plan E-book sign up to become a member at A Date For Success.

Copyright © Drifa Ulfarsdottir 2009

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Creating Successful Relationships part 1


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By the way the girl in this video is not me nor does she speak for me but lest face it she is pretty funny!

Creating succesful relationships can be really tough but there are some things you can do to increase the odds of your relationship working. I recently wrote an article which is part of an 11 part series on creating successful relationships Creating Successful Relationships Part 1 and in it I talk about how we can evaluate what kind of relationship we have. It is really common to carry the past relationship problems into the next relationship and to feel almost helpless in stopping it. It kind of reminds me of the first time as an adult you do or say something that is identical to what your mother or father would have said. It shocks you into realizing that it is inevitable to bring our past with us into our future. But is it really? I don´t think so. This is something that can be worked through coaching and dealt with quite efficiently if you are really interested in doing so. when we deal with what went wrong and identify why we did what we did we have a chance to change how we react the next time around. This can be a whole new beginning to your life. Nobody likes conflict, stress or misunderstandings but few of us really take the time to change tha root cause. That is why it is essential when creating successful relationships to look at al lthe angles, to be completely honest with yourself  and to be willing to look atyour part in the relationship..

Drifa Ulfarsdottir

Success Coach

copyright © Drifa Ulfarsdottir 2010


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