Giving and not recieving

Giving can make you feel wonderful, especially when the person you are giving to appreciates what you have done for them and says thank you. Even if they don´t say the words a small acknowledgement of the act of giving makes the giver feel great. It encourages more giving and generosity of the heart. Sometimes however we give because we want to and do not expect or need any words of appreciation back. If you sponsor a child for instance, you know in your heart that that child will be taken care of and you feel good about that. When you bring old clothes to the Red Cross you know that someone will be able to use them. I like to think that when we forget something at the grocery store that it is because the person behind us does not have allot of money and is meant to accidently put the item in their bag and will get a pleasant surprise when they get home. It makes me feel good, and since I took up this line of thinking it has taken all the frustration of not finding the item in my bags when I get home from the store. I recently did something nice for someone. I did it without any hidden agenda, just because I wanted to. This friend of mine was very sick and home alone. I know that if I were home alone, sick and vulnerable I would be feeling pretty bad. It is always nice to have someone to take care of you. I decided to pick up some coke, easy to make food and snacks and bring them to this friend’s house. I did this because I would want someone to do it for me if I were sick. I knew full well that this friend of mine would never do anything like this for me if I were sick but I believe you should not treat people the way they treat you rather the way you want to be treated. I sent the food over and felt pretty good about it, but after a few days I had not even heard a word from this person. I spoke to my friend on the phone a few days later and there was not a mention of the care package at all. At first I thought my friend was extremely ungrateful and rude.

Then I thought to myself, why did I give this care package in the first place? Was it to get thanks, recognition or praise or was it to show compassion, kindness and love. Well I would like to think it was the latter. I will continue giving and helping my friends any time I can however I think I will be a little more choosey next time. Why? Because this person may  need my hel pand I may have   needed to help him but in the future my help would be better spent in another way.

Sometimes showing caring concern and love means looking the other way. I think I will be nicer to this friend from now on by giving the right type of support.

So now you have it! GIVE GIVE GIVE but do it for the right reason and give the right gift.

Drifa Ulfarsdottir CPCP

Life Coach