Creating Successful Relationships part 1


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By the way the girl in this video is not me nor does she speak for me but lest face it she is pretty funny!

Creating succesful relationships can be really tough but there are some things you can do to increase the odds of your relationship working. I recently wrote an article which is part of an 11 part series on creating successful relationships Creating Successful Relationships Part 1 and in it I talk about how we can evaluate what kind of relationship we have. It is really common to carry the past relationship problems into the next relationship and to feel almost helpless in stopping it. It kind of reminds me of the first time as an adult you do or say something that is identical to what your mother or father would have said. It shocks you into realizing that it is inevitable to bring our past with us into our future. But is it really? I don´t think so. This is something that can be worked through coaching and dealt with quite efficiently if you are really interested in doing so. when we deal with what went wrong and identify why we did what we did we have a chance to change how we react the next time around. This can be a whole new beginning to your life. Nobody likes conflict, stress or misunderstandings but few of us really take the time to change tha root cause. That is why it is essential when creating successful relationships to look at al lthe angles, to be completely honest with yourself  and to be willing to look atyour part in the relationship..

Drifa Ulfarsdottir

Success Coach

copyright © Drifa Ulfarsdottir 2010

Misunderstandings in relationships.


Misunderstandings in relationships happen all the time. They show up when you least expect them . Often when things are going really well, or so you think. I think that the misunderstandings happen most often when you are in a relationships that is important to you. The more important the relationship the harder it is to sort out  the conflicts that are the root of the  misunderstanding. That’s not to say that casual relationships or friendships cannot have misunderstandings that can get heated. They definitely can. What is the root of these misunderstandings? Why do they come up. Why do they sometimes seem to grow bigger and bigger until they have a life of their own? I think it is because we are not listening carefully and other person does not hear what we are trying to tell them either. We think that when we talk, others are automatically listening. I mean, why not, everything we say is so interesting the whole world should listen, right? Wel,l even if they are listening, they may not hear what you think you said. That’s right, sometimes when we think we are being  clear we are not. The person listening to us hears what we are saying  through a filter. Their filter, not yours, so they wont necessarily hear what you said and form the exact opinion that you were hoping for. The closer the relationship the deeper the feelings of everyone involved. Feelings come from our thoughts so when we are confused, feel misunderstood or unheard our  feelings will be negative.  The more negative feelings we have, the less  likely we are to listen to what the other person is saying….Get my point?

So what can we do? Keep it cool, slow down, don’t let your feelings get in the way. But better yet just listen to others when they are talking to you. Repeat what they have said to you to make sure you have heard them correctly. When you are talking don’t assume people hears what you said. Remember, there is no universal truth, only your personal truth. Everyone has their own perception. So next time you have a misunderstanding in a relationship, instead of blaming, being angry or irritated step back and listen.

Drifa Ulfarsdottir The Dating Coach

www.adateforsuccess.com

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