A Date For Success

In order to turn your life around you need to set a date for success. What I mean by that is you need to decide on a date that we would like  to  achieve success in the future. Each goal you set needs to have a deadline or a goal date in order to be achievable. There is a good formula that helps you to set goals. The goals you set must be achievable, measurable and realistic.

You want to set yourself up for success and in order to do that you must choose your goals according to what you can actually achieve. I am not saying that you should be conservative because that wouldnt do you any favors. I am saying that you should set small goals, what I am saying is don’t set goals like run a 10 km marathon in a month when you can’t even run 500 meters. The goal should be something that you can do. o The goal must also be reasonable that goes without saying. You can’t have a goal for instance to convert the whole world to veganism for instance. Brian Tracy wrote an article a while back and one of the most interesting quotes that was something like  if you are not trying to achieve your goals then you are trying to achieve someone elses goals.

The first thing you need t?o do is to actually figure out what you want to achieve. What is your goal? What do you really really want? You have to think about this without any hangups getting in the way. Try asking yourself what your ultimate goal would be if you knew ahead of time it was achievable. What is it you have always dreamed of doing but always dismissed? if you lived the perfect life how would it be different from today?

Now take that idea, that goal and visualize it. Really look at it and explore it. Look at the big picture and then begin to deconstruction it from the end to the beginning as if you were on top of Everest and you wanted to figure out how you got there.  Break it down until you can see exactly what you need to do now to achieve your goal.

When goals, no matter how large are broken down into small steps they go from daunting to doable.

Drifa Ulfarsdottir CPC

The Work Life Balance Coach for High Achieving Parents

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Am I a workaholic?

Am I a workaholic?

You know I ask myself that all the time. I tend to get immensely excited about projects that I am working on, especially if they involve learning something new, forging new trails or being a virtual explorer. I will continually think about the project almost unable to focus on anything else even thinking about it in the evenings when I am having family time with my children. As Life and Success Coach I recognise the signs of being a  workaholic but I thought I would jot down a few signs just in case you were wondering what they were. The signs are pretty unmistakable if you know what you are looking for. When you are working from dusk til dawn and think about work all the time, you just might be a workaholic. Workaholics only feel that they are accomplishing something when they are at work. They think that they have to work long hours immense effort and sacrifice in order to get ahead. They crave success and will do anything to get it even if that means forgoing their personal lives. Some are great achievers at work but just can´t seem to get it right in their personal lives. Some workaholics have an easier time connecting to the people at work than their own family. Workaholics feel they are irreplaceable at work and that everything will literally fall apart if they are not there to take care of all the little details personally. Look at the life of a workaholic outside of work. How satisfying is it? How much balance is their really in their lives? If you don’t have a balance between work, family life and personal time then you just may be a workaholic. If you get more satisfaction, feel more important and more at home at work then guess what, you may be a workaholic.  If you are reading this and thinking yeah that’s me but I am not a workaholic then good luck to you. If you are still unsure then you can either continue reading or take a test and find out.Work life balance is essential to happiness. Everyone will stop working one day and when they do they need to have built up a life and identity to fill the work void. We only have one life so it is essential to fill it with things that make you happy, are aligned with your values and mean something in the long run. Sometimes that means working less, being more productive in the time you have and making family and personal time a priority.

Drifa Ulfarsdottir

Success Coach

Facing our fears can be a great way to achieve success.

Facing our fears can be a great way to achieve success, increase our productivity and create more peace and joy in our lives. When you are feeling overworked and stretched thin, ask yourself what is going on. I did this exact thing the other day. I often create more projects for myself when I feel especially stressed or busy. This seems to be a pattern of mine, anyhow I was doing this again the other day. I had scheduled myself into a corner. When I explored what it felt like I discovered that I felt like life was getting in my way. Life was interfering in all of my plans and my life was evolving despite my best efforts. I wouldn’t have noticed this feeling and these thoughts had I not faced my fear of under achievement, which by the way is very closely tied to over achievement. When you live your life based on fear, especially when you hide behind your fears then you can´t really grow.  So, that said, here is the solution. Figure out what you are afraid of, be honest and explore the truth in that fear. Most of our fears are actually just opinions created out of perception and when we are honest with ourselves they seem to dissipate. Take your fear and turn it around.  What this would look like is something like this;

(fear of success) If I succeed then I will be to busy, I can barely handle everything I need to do as it is.

(explore) Is that true? Do I know that for sure? What am I basing that on?

(turn it around) I will be able to handle it because I will delegate the things I do not need to do myself. I will have more                                          time, I can do it all!

Feel better? Me to.

Coach Drifa

Great Relationships

Relationships are very precious to us all. They are a necessary skill that we have to master in order to have fulfilling lives. We have relationships with everyone, our spouse, children, friends and the clerk at the grocery store. In each and every relationship we have a distinct way of communicating, that determines how successful the relationship is. When we have good rapport with someone, conversation really flows, and  we have a better relationship than if the conversation is filled with negative emotion, insecurity or accusations. The conversation does not even have to be obviously negative to bring down a relationship. All it needs is for it to not be supportive. Powerful communication is the key to great relationships. I recently heard about a great book called Fierce Conversations, by Susan Scott. I think it´s a must buy because we can all improve our conversation skills. So then, how do we do that? We can begin with acknowledging each other. When we think about our past successes and past failures and reflect on what it is that differentiated the two, I think a lot of us would agree that the amount of acknowledgement we gave each other had a direct impact on the success of the relationship. If that is so, why don’t we acknowledge each other all the time? I mean, we all want to have powerful and successful relationships don’t we? Well, I think it has a lot to do with us not realizing what the other person needs in order to feel good. If we feel good when we are acknowledged,  why wouldn’t others feel good as well? So, if this is the case, what steps do we need to take now to begin making changes in our lives? The best way to improve your relationships is to acknowledge the person you are in the relationship with regularly. But how do you do that? You go to someone and say I want to acknowledge you for….. and then point out what it is that they have done that is impactful, meaningful or important. It doesn’t have to have anything to do with you, because it’s not about you. It is only about them and their accomplishments. Think about it. Look at your relationships with others. When was the last time you pointed out something nice about them? Acknowledged their sense of style, generosity or determination. How did it make you feel when you acknowledged them? How did they feel? Was it worth it and if so was why? Would you like to do it more often? I would like to challenge you to acknowledge everyone in your family this week and notice what kinds of feelings come up for you. Notice what you get out of it, and if it is something you think would improve your life if you did it regularly. There is one more thing I would like to challenge you to do. Look at your significant other and think of ways to acknowledge them. Do it today and tomorrow. In fact do it every day. Think about the karma you will be creating, the wonderful feelings and the communication that will open up from this little gesture that says so much. Try it and comment on this blog. Lets see if we can change our world just a little bit and you might just improve your relationships along the way.


Drifa the Dating Coach